davie101

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davie101

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5676
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About davie101 : Aw, poo!

davie101's page activity

Visits<b>pharaohmonkey</b> - the 05/16/2011 at 10:52pm

davie101's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

davie101's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 11:30am / United States / Health

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

by hopeless / 04/08/2011 at 11:03am / Love

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

by ridella / 04/08/2011 at 6:35am / Health

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

by Payte / 04/08/2011 at 1:31am / Love

Today, four hours before a test, I received an email from my professor saying that the test had been canceled. When I checked my email again before bed, I found another email from my professor saying that his email had been hacked and the test was was still on. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 1:32pm / United States (Puerto Rico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

by 1337fade / 04/07/2011 at 1:19am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2011 at 7:47am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

by oc_cheergirl / 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

by Bailey / 04/05/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

by carolinagirl / 04/04/2011 at 12:23pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by arbiter3 / 04/04/2011 at 6:13am / Kids

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2011 at 1:26am / Health

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy