davie101

Search for a member

davie101

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6138
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About davie101 : Aw, poo!

davie101's page activity

Visits<b>pharaohmonkey</b> - the 05/16/2011 at 10:52pm

davie101's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

davie101's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

by fmyhabit / 04/15/2011 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

by markyvilla / 04/14/2011 at 9:09pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML

by andimanastudent / 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, my teacher told me I wasn't pretty enough to play the princess part in the play. FML

by sophie / 04/13/2011 at 12:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, at 6am I was waiting for the tram to go home from my late night job. A homeless man came up to me and offered to buy me a beer because "guys like us have to stick together." FML

by ihaveahome / 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML

by JT / 04/12/2011 at 10:19am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I wore a Stanford college T-shirt to school. My Spanish teacher took one look at it and said "You wish". FML

by anon / 04/12/2011 at 6:09am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

by Artic / 04/12/2011 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

by ILiveWithMorons / 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

by Carmen / 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I bought myself a brand-new 52" flatscreen. It was only in my house for 2 hours before my toddler had a tantrum, threw a toy right into the screen and wrecked it beyond repair. I paid to have a nice TV for 2 hours. FML

by ac32 / 04/11/2011 at 12:05pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my phone wasn't working properly. After sending out 40 texts and getting no replies, I decided to test my phone by sending it a text from my old phone. The text came through straight away. Turns out my phone's working perfectly and 40 people are just ignoring me. FML

by Ignored / 04/11/2011 at 5:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous