darren824

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darren824

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1150
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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darren824's page activity

Visits<b>cbxxii</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:45am<b>GimonMon</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:58pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:12am<b>senpai_kush</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 11:26am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 6:48am<b>sacrosanct2</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 1:37am<b>gman123999</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:38pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:28am<b>Puzzles_regular</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:19pm<b>sexaybitch</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:22am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 11:30pm<b>ameturepics</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 11:53am<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 3:50am<b>TheEliteShark69</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 5:16pm<b>Megan7799</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 7:41pm<b>3sbb3</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 10:33am<b>AndyAutopsy</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 2:11pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:50pm

darren824's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

darren824's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

by ilovefootball / 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

by shaggy / 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

by LizP40 / 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

by naughtyshirt / 08/22/2009 at 5:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

by torkx3 / 07/21/2009 at 4:22pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

by thicklysettled / 07/20/2009 at 12:04am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

by Loveless / 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonalds drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I decided to pull out of the line just to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

by StUbbY / 07/09/2009 at 10:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

by onething / 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

by paprikarulz / 07/01/2009 at 6:31am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

by notsexy / 05/09/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

by Anonymousagb / 04/24/2009 at 11:18am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Animals

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

by Sugao / 12/10/2008 at 2:48am / Intimacy

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on she starts telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stops and says « Actually I don’t know why I’m telling you this, after all you don’t have a boyfriend! » and walks away. FML

by Enko / 11/09/2008 at 2:43am / Intimacy