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darlinjai

Offline (the 02/06/2014 at 1:57am) | Search for a member

darlinjai

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 587
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About darlinjai : Sometimes its just too delicious to be strange...I'd rather live my life vibrant and intense than fade into eternity kik me if you want! JunesongJaime

darlinjai's page activity

Visits<b>superDuper2455</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:55pm<b>simplejack2500</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:03pm<b>yesmynameis</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 8:05pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:44pm<b>sethmayer9</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:18am<b>janiiine</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:10am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:57am<b>globsavethequeen</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:02pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 5:30pm<b>runnerj116</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 9:41am<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 1:12am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:14pm<b>potatopatoto</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 11:27pm<b>vinnylord</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 1:46pm<b>amanimonster</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 2:46pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 1:20pm

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darlinjai's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28931) - you deserved it (7392)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29329) - you deserved it (3981)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37534) - you deserved it (2984)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35918) - you deserved it (3168)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17141) - you deserved it (44144)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (2844)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33861) - you deserved it (5282)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38432) - you deserved it (9261)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (3190)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (27251)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (5113)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

#20494355
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41223) - you deserved it (12276)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (2926)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

#20181345
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40796) - you deserved it (3610)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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