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dark_pyrohollow

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dark_pyrohollow

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  • Number of visits : 312
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:20pm

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Today , My Boyfriend And I Were Having Phone Sex . It Got Very Wild And Soon Was Interruptd By A Knock On My Door . My Dad Had Come Home Early From Work , And Heard Thehole Thing . He Demandd My Boyfriend To Come Over , And He Had A Sex Talk With Him On The Couch In Front Of Thehole Family . Fat FML

#3483555
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45489) - you deserved it (21193)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by twintowers (woman) - United States

TODAY , I WAS AT MCDONALD'S AND I WAS GOING THROUGH THE DRIVE-THRU. AS I WAS DRIVING AWAY , I CHECKD MAH FOOD AND THE LADY HAD GIVEN ME A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM HAPPY MEAL TOY BY MISTAKE. I GOT SO EXCITD THAT I CRASHD THE CAR INTO A POLE. I'M 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (65470)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked mah Swedish friend 4 some lines to impress this swedish grl I met at an expat party he took me to . I practised them all evening before I met her . I told her mah feelings, and she scowled . Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face . FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50582) - you deserved it (21349)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Taday I decided I had gathered enough solid evidence to justify dumping cheating girlfriend. When I turned up, she broke up with me before I had a chance to confront her. Why? Apparently I have trust issues. FML

#2963101
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (7859)

On 06/17/2009 at 9:03am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I finally got a chance to try out mah vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until mah friend gave me the vibrator 4 mah brthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

#2907219
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70989) - you deserved it (13550)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday , I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the looool piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening , and said (as we walked past a car full of men) , "Well of course it hurts when u put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70311) - you deserved it (7956)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today , I woke up to a hand rubbing mah very erect penis , an a woman's peppermint breath in mah ear!! "Mom?" I called out instinctively , recalling how she alway smell like peppermint!! The hand stopped rubbing , an I turned to face mah very disgusted looking grlfriend of three years!! FML

#2005903
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28957) - you deserved it (86158)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today , mah friend and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club . I saw a very , very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself . Trying to be a stud I walked over and said ( What are u doing Friday night? ) Her response: ( Not you . ) real FML

#1244870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24658) - you deserved it (75339)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today mah mother called me downstairs to give mehat I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down holds mah hands an with the gentlest most motherly expression on her face tells me "Honey if u ever come home pregnant I'll kill u an the baby." FML

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to looool finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (175761) - you deserved it (30510)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to looool finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (175761) - you deserved it (30510)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta



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