dansythomas

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dansythomas

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1847
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About dansythomas : I like cupcakes and texting

dansythomas's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 4:40pm<b>HerWrongHole247</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 11:48pm<b>fraankiexx</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:20am<b>IronicLights</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 5:46pm<b>gilmorejustin38</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 8:52pm<b>InvictusTribuni</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 12:48am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:23am<b>ChaCerCam1</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:45pm<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 5:11pm<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 12:42am<b>tonjuu</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:24am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 8:41pm<b>tjw1616</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 10:57pm<b>britt96britt</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 7:31am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:50pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 11:47pm<b>mokibear335</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 10:21pm<b>Sporkly</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 4:31pm

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dansythomas's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

by xkellybabyyx / 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

by loldick / 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, some friends and I went to Cosmic Bowling where they have a blacklight. Everyone's teeth were glowing. Mine weren't. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2009 at 6:12am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of seven years dumped me because he said my cheeks getting way too fat for his taste and he didn't want to be with a chipmunk. FML

by chipmunk / 10/29/2009 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

by stixx / 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

by lovebigmacs / 10/06/2009 at 7:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

by FML / 08/30/2009 at 10:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Animals

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML

by notguilty / 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to Burger King. I was sipping the drink and put it on my window sill to save for later. I fell asleep, and when I woke up my mouth was dry. I took a sip and felt something go into my mouth. Thinking it was an ice cube, I bit down on it. It was not an ice cube. It was a cockroach. FML

by LoLLightning / 06/27/2009 at 3:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

by FattyMcFatterson / 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

by the_captain / 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 2:11pm / United Kingdom / Animals