Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dansythomas

Search for a member

dansythomas
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 732
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About dansythomas : I like cupcakes and texting

dansythomas's last visitors

Way2Fast8DrSkillztjw1616TheImaginarySongmokibear335Sporklyfatman1970

dansythomas's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of dansythomas's badges

dansythomas's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

#12706107
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22976) - you deserved it (9332)

On 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm - misc - by lizardface (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (9880)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

#12245991
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39301) - you deserved it (5036)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by jacobscrackers - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36089) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

#11824802
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12499) - you deserved it (41637)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:52am - health - by fat - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

#11624836
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42539) - you deserved it (4923)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by nowsingle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (31686)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (31686)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (31686)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

#10945520
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43137) - you deserved it (24012)

On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML

#10559209
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32649) - you deserved it (9172)

On 05/16/2010 at 12:08am - health - by fatgirl - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

#8466183
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7236) - you deserved it (34588)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:09am - health - by fatflabbyfail - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

#7767397
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21141) - you deserved it (2869)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (8187)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35657) - you deserved it (3806)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: