dansythomas

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dansythomas

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1582
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About dansythomas : I like cupcakes and texting

dansythomas's page activity

Visits<b>HerWrongHole247</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 11:48pm<b>fraankiexx</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:20am<b>IronicLights</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 5:46pm<b>gilmorejustin38</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 8:52pm<b>InvictusTribuni</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 12:48am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:23am<b>ChaCerCam1</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:45pm<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 5:11pm<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 12:42am<b>tonjuu</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:24am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 8:41pm<b>tjw1616</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 10:57pm<b>britt96britt</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 7:31am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:50pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 11:47pm<b>mokibear335</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 10:21pm<b>Sporkly</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 4:31pm<b>somemom</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 4:35pm

dansythomas's FML badges

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dansythomas's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

by Me / 10/27/2011 at 2:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

by jbthedude / 08/05/2011 at 5:57am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Health

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

by anon / 06/21/2011 at 7:52am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

by Username / 06/07/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 9:56am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

by curlyisnogood / 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm / Health

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

by Laura / 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm / Kids