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dansythomas

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dansythomas
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 725
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About dansythomas : I like cupcakes and texting

dansythomas's last visitors

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dansythomas's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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dansythomas's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

#19998761
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23388) - you deserved it (2518)

On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (14054)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52243) - you deserved it (9696)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

#19982867
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6890) - you deserved it (20844)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (4030)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (3666)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

#19562059
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15696) - you deserved it (3983)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

#18850090
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25990) - you deserved it (2568)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

#18586470
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22674) - you deserved it (4540)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27090) - you deserved it (14178)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

#18271050
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10144) - you deserved it (18947)

On 11/17/2011 at 6:22am - health - by ray - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60357) - you deserved it (4435)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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