dansythomas

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dansythomas

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1848
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About dansythomas : I like cupcakes and texting

dansythomas's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 4:40pm<b>HerWrongHole247</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 11:48pm<b>fraankiexx</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:20am<b>IronicLights</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 5:46pm<b>gilmorejustin38</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 8:52pm<b>InvictusTribuni</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 12:48am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:23am<b>ChaCerCam1</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:45pm<b>horsehaed7</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 5:11pm<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 12:42am<b>tonjuu</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:24am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 8:41pm<b>tjw1616</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 10:57pm<b>britt96britt</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 7:31am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:50pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 11:47pm<b>mokibear335</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 10:21pm<b>Sporkly</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 4:31pm

dansythomas's FML badges

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dansythomas's favorite FMLs

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

by OhMeGerd / 10/05/2012 at 10:56am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

by holyshitbatman / 09/22/2012 at 10:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML

by drixxy / 08/29/2012 at 11:01am / United States (California) / Money

Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML

by jdch_99 / 08/29/2012 at 9:12am / United States / Health

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (West Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2012 at 1:39pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

by JMG / 08/19/2012 at 1:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

by scarredforlife / 08/16/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

by jannister / 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML

by FlorenceD / 08/12/2012 at 12:34am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

by llaurenmariee / 08/04/2012 at 7:35am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2012 at 4:21am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

by HappyMan / 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous