Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

danny3227

Search for a member

danny3227

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 288
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

danny3227's page activity

Visits<b>Role448</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:33pm<b>Awesome_Snivy</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 8:16pm<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:52am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 10:04am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:43pm<b>AnagenisisZagus</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:38am<b>dev241</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 4:13pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 1:41pm<b>da_best_eva</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:37pm<b>violetsweety</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:50am<b>ssm04</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:44am<b>Jenra</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:29am<b>colerean</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 8:26am<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 6:53pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:25pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 9:21pm

danny3227's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of danny3227's badges

danny3227's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (1552)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

#21220481
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34882) - you deserved it (7872)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36926) - you deserved it (18722)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36006) - you deserved it (4150)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41532) - you deserved it (10920)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19467) - you deserved it (45757)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50079) - you deserved it (39253)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37393) - you deserved it (6257)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35831) - you deserved it (4816)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because he's too manipulative. By the time our chat ended, instead of being single, I'm somehow now committed to going on vacation with him and his family. FML

#21216217
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41310) - you deserved it (12294)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - love - by whatjusthappened - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46024) - you deserved it (3741)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33552) - you deserved it (16334)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: