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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57851) - you deserved it (1859)
Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38437) - you deserved it (2521)
On 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by MrKento (man) - Honduras (Francisco Morazan)
Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24246) - you deserved it (6590) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/08/2013 at 5:10pm - misc - by La Guigne - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (2578)
On 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm - work - by soakedga - United States (Georgia)
Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26072) - you deserved it (1971)
On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41253) - you deserved it (2830)
On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29656) - you deserved it (6084)
On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31053) - you deserved it (4460)
On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (2491)
On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42351) - you deserved it (7004)
On 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by ziggers10 - United States
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37658) - you deserved it (2755)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42472) - you deserved it (8208)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (1991)
On 04/06/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Budapest)
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48098) - you deserved it (3268)
On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (15546)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Monday 17 June 2013
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