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danilols689's favorite FMLs
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by cristy91 / 07/10/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML
by help / 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Geek
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML
by Aggressive / 07/09/2013 at 4:54am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML
by realitybites / 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML
by insurance lies / 07/08/2013 at 10:48am / United States / Health
Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML
by Not Mrs Soprano / 07/08/2013 at 7:57am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by SimG / 07/07/2013 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by nomorenakedpicsplease / 07/07/2013 at 1:21am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…