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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65994) - you deserved it (8432)
On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37123) - you deserved it (7707)
On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46551) - you deserved it (2106)
On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33162) - you deserved it (27282)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33020) - you deserved it (4561)
On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26041) - you deserved it (37773)
On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41787) - you deserved it (3248)
On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42855) - you deserved it (23883)
On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51947) - you deserved it (10799)
On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63056) - you deserved it (6891)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37168) - you deserved it (14044)
On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69810) - you deserved it (3085)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49234) - you deserved it (6640)
On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)
Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41287) - you deserved it (2953)
On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31887) - you deserved it (4327)
On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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