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danilols689's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 2:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 1:47am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by anon / 07/25/2013 at 12:44am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML
by Hesintrouble / 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
by MenstruallyFrustrated / 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I've been bedridden for the past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked that he understands now why some people cheat on their seriously-ill partners. Thanks for adding to the stress, sweetie. FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 2:30pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Love
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 4:47am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation
by Carebeareatu / 07/21/2013 at 9:26am / United States / Love
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
by Nick / 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML
by Dirty_Mind_69 / 07/20/2013 at 4:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until… Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss… Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him…