danilols689

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danilols689

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 9322
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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danilols689's page activity

Visits<b>scottwaite</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 2:46am<b>samp_squad_23</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 9:10pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 6:23pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 4:35pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 9:27am<b>flupsht</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 9:06am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 7:07am<b>billboob</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 3:32am<b>JennixPanda</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 9:36am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:22am<b>kylefitz20</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 12:32pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:46am<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:59pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:33pm<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:56pm<b>nyranger35</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:33pm<b>ThorPowaa</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:32am<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:01pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 12:24am

danilols689's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of danilols689's badges

danilols689's favorite FMLs

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

by hipster glasses / 08/16/2013 at 7:08am / United States / Work

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

by stinky car / 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

by deadman / 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

by bglenney / 08/15/2013 at 5:47am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Love

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 7:10am / Latvia (Jelgavas) / Health

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

by AnnoyedByFriends / 08/08/2013 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

by shampoomice / 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

by pong / 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

by stillembarrassed / 08/06/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

by NO NO NO / 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2013 at 5:36pm / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Animals