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danilols689

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danilols689

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  • Number of visits : 5054
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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danilols689's page activity

Visits<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:59pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:33pm<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:56pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 8:25pm<b>nyranger35</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:33pm<b>ThorPowaa</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:32am<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:01pm<b>waterski123</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:19pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 2:06pm<b>mirokuboy2</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:29am<b>kylefitz20</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 1:25pm<b>Ranimal</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:11am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:12am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 2:15am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 10:54pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:59pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 2:28pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 1:53pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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danilols689's favorite FMLs

Today, I offered to help out at my grandpa's farm, and he had me load buckets of water into his trunk. When he came by and saw me struggling to lift a bucket, he sneered, called me a moron for filling it up before putting it in the truck, and told me to just go home. FML

#20889129
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32515) - you deserved it (10853)

On 09/20/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by fuckwank (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, while chatting with a friend online, I told her that Kristen Stewart isn't going to star in the 50 Shades movie as she originally thought. She then spammed me with so many "NO"/"NO WAY" messages that my crappy laptop froze up, forcing me to reboot and lose a ton of unsaved essay notes. FML

#20879898
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39988) - you deserved it (11029)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by CHEERS, TUMBLTARD (woman) -

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41179) - you deserved it (11053)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

#20874571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53608) - you deserved it (6215)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72359) - you deserved it (4096)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

#20872521
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46582) - you deserved it (4620)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45269) - you deserved it (3072)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48593) - you deserved it (8074) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56299) - you deserved it (4074)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51677) - you deserved it (13512)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

#20852722
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49941) - you deserved it (7229)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41113) - you deserved it (4247)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (15118)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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