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  • Number of visits : 5327
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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danielwilliams57's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:49pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 9:27pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:06am<b>Cathrin</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:36pm<b>19Hahaha11</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:42pm<b>player20270</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:41pm<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:34am<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:48pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 2:26pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:24pm<b>biancajade7</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:39pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:25am<b>XQuartzX</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:36pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:46am<b>warsun</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:54pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:24am<b>cwl727</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:01pm<b>HiveMindFury</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:19am

danielwilliams57's FML badges


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of danielwilliams57's badges

danielwilliams57's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

by anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 8:38am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

by Shone / 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

by erockinthesuburb / 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

by Quackers / 04/11/2012 at 11:39am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

by uhhh what? / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

by kellie1115 / 04/10/2012 at 12:41am / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

by emoflowers / 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Money

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

by tatatest / 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

by Krissy / 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy