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danielwilliams57's FML badges
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danielwilliams57's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 8:38am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
by Shone / 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML
by erockinthesuburb / 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML
by Quackers / 04/11/2012 at 11:39am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by uhhh what? / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States / Intimacy
by kellie1115 / 04/10/2012 at 12:41am / United States (West Virginia) / Love
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
by emoflowers / 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Money
Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML
by tatatest / 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Krissy / 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…