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danielwilliams57

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danielwilliams57
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1874
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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danielwilliams57's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML

#19564569
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26362) - you deserved it (4499)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by S12Sophia (woman) - France

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

#19563224
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5595) - you deserved it (80658)

On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States

Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML

#19549907
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15370) - you deserved it (4908)

On 04/29/2012 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31412) - you deserved it (8088)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

#19543963
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21429) - you deserved it (3758)

On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States

Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML

#19540360
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19477) - you deserved it (7872)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

#19530621
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (2030)

On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22841) - you deserved it (7433)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

#19522218
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15409) - you deserved it (3120)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (1724)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7258) - you deserved it (58187)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41902) - you deserved it (3001)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

#19519043
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8492) - you deserved it (25404)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by hjkashld (man) - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (2279)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10567) - you deserved it (35216)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)



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