danielwilliams57

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danielwilliams57

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4854
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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danielwilliams57's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:49pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 9:27pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:06am<b>Cathrin</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:36pm<b>19Hahaha11</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:42pm<b>player20270</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:41pm<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:34am<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:48pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 2:26pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:24pm<b>biancajade7</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:39pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:25am<b>XQuartzX</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:36pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:46am<b>warsun</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:54pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:24am<b>cwl727</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:01pm<b>HiveMindFury</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:19am

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

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danielwilliams57's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

by geez_wth / 05/06/2012 at 7:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

by Grindyloo / 05/05/2012 at 6:06am / Kids

Today, it was my wedding. Everyone showed up, except my fiancé. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 3:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

by 464424 / 05/05/2012 at 2:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

by CALIdime_15 / 05/05/2012 at 1:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2012 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

by CharlieOrion / 05/04/2012 at 8:25am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy