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danielwilliams57's favorite FMLs
by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy
by geez_wth / 05/06/2012 at 7:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by BTM13 / 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 3:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML
by 464424 / 05/05/2012 at 2:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by CALIdime_15 / 05/05/2012 at 1:42am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
by Anonymous / 05/04/2012 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
by CharlieOrion / 05/04/2012 at 8:25am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Health
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…