danielwilliams57

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danielwilliams57

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 5421
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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danielwilliams57's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:49pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 9:27pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:06am<b>Cathrin</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:36pm<b>19Hahaha11</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:42pm<b>player20270</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:41pm<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:34am<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:48pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 2:26pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:24pm<b>biancajade7</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:39pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:25am<b>XQuartzX</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:36pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:46am<b>warsun</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:54pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:24am<b>cwl727</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:01pm<b>HiveMindFury</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:19am

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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danielwilliams57's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

by Kelly / 08/02/2012 at 4:11am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

by kaitlyna15 / 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

by NaKreen / 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

by skyplaysguitar / 07/30/2012 at 1:56am / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML

by kumbuck3t15 / 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

by anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 9:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 1:27am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

by memphis201 / 07/26/2012 at 1:20pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

by Itstrickyyxx / 07/25/2012 at 2:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

by Rochelle / 07/25/2012 at 2:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous