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danielwilliams57's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
by thefriedman / 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money
by ouch. / 12/08/2012 at 5:44am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love
by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work
by Vassy / 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Teddy / 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML
by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm / United States / Love
by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder… Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a… Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I…