danielwilliams57

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danielwilliams57

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5120
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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danielwilliams57's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:49pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 9:27pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:06am<b>Cathrin</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:36pm<b>19Hahaha11</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:42pm<b>player20270</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:41pm<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:34am<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:48pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 2:26pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:24pm<b>biancajade7</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:39pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:25am<b>XQuartzX</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:36pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:46am<b>warsun</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:54pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:24am<b>cwl727</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:01pm<b>HiveMindFury</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:19am

danielwilliams57's FML badges

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Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of danielwilliams57's badges

danielwilliams57's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

by thefriedman / 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

by ouch. / 12/08/2012 at 5:44am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

by Vassy / 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

by Teddy / 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love