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by the way.. love sucks.
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (3720)
On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (2154)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21062) - you deserved it (1541)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7066) - you deserved it (29703)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37611) - you deserved it (4966)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17697) - you deserved it (2317)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17258) - you deserved it (1123)
On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17632) - you deserved it (3358)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20638) - you deserved it (1488)
On 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Mmkay1515 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (3269)
On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29126) - you deserved it (1718)
On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18567) - you deserved it (5207)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13951) - you deserved it (2115)
On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17050) - you deserved it (1294)
On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31454) - you deserved it (1153)
On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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