danielle25

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Offline (the 09/30/2014 at 2:00am)

danielle25

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 32639
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.
-Ernest Hemingway

danielle25's page activity

Visits<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 9:16am<b>toastyflame</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 11:06pm<b>vincentjules</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 10:48am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 11:50am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 5:10pm<b>Phustercluck</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:55pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:50am<b>Esoomian</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:37pm<b>krazy789</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 12:41am<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:40am<b>chandler88</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:02am<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:00pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:41am<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 1:51pm<b>cocoapanda</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:55am<b>Agua2</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 6:18pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:10pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:19am

Fucked!<b>toastyflame</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 5:07am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 5:50pm<b>Mons</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:35pm

danielle25's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of danielle25's badges

danielle25's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

by Widowmaker / 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

by boo8713 / 11/28/2012 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

by FUSheldon / 11/28/2012 at 12:15am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

by ladylol / 11/24/2012 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

by Whipped Cream / 11/24/2012 at 12:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

by but I tried anal and everything / 11/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

by zzz / 11/22/2012 at 2:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

by Ophelia / 11/22/2012 at 12:44am / United States (New Mexico) / Work

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

by vanillatwilight2 / 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

by satega / 11/17/2012 at 4:15am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

by woman / 11/17/2012 at 3:45am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

by sarahhbear / 11/17/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

by wow @ creepy fuckers / 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm / United States / Work

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy