danielle25

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Offline (the 09/30/2014 at 2:00am)

danielle25

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 30963
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.
-Ernest Hemingway

danielle25's page activity

Visits<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 9:16am<b>toastyflame</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 11:06pm<b>vincentjules</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 10:48am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 11:50am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 5:10pm<b>Phustercluck</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:55pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:50am<b>Esoomian</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:37pm<b>krazy789</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 12:41am<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:40am<b>chandler88</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:02am<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:00pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:41am<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 1:51pm<b>cocoapanda</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:55am<b>Agua2</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 6:18pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:10pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:19am

Fucked!<b>toastyflame</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 5:07am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 5:50pm<b>Mons</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:35pm

danielle25's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of danielle25's badges

danielle25's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

by un_christmas / 12/25/2012 at 1:41am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Love

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

by brunetteshavemorefun / 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

by joyness / 12/20/2012 at 9:49am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Transportation

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

by ehrmagahd / 12/19/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

by ehrmagahd / 12/19/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

by crazy mother in law / 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm / Intimacy