Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

danielle25

Search for a member

danielle25
  • Town/Country : Hogwarts
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 19853
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About danielle25 : have a question?
then ask.

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.
-Ernest Hemingway

danielle25's last visitors

gabix3Edogg215JuicenubPhustercluckTvolsfan325littlekellileeSebastian_NGsydstoomuchZaketh2112Monsvinincolorado

danielle25's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of danielle25's badges

danielle25's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

#432
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10194) - you deserved it (34567)

On 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm - love - by eleonor - Sent from mobile version

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

#395
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8863) - you deserved it (16416)

On 11/26/2008 at 11:21pm - misc - by Smile - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

#392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17060) - you deserved it (39381)

On 11/26/2008 at 1:18am - misc - by ripo95 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

#386
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32103) - you deserved it (6932)

On 11/25/2008 at 3:54am - intimacy - by mael - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML

#375
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34341) - you deserved it (2134)

On 11/23/2008 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Dina - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 14-year-old little sister asked me how I felt when I had my first sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said "I thought it was nice". I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML

#353
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42761) - you deserved it (5157)

On 11/21/2008 at 2:23am - intimacy - by KoNi - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33432) - you deserved it (11129)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (10376)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

#346
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31335) - you deserved it (7789)

On 11/20/2008 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Maxime - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

#338
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (2486)

On 11/19/2008 at 12:59am - health - by la poisse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

#324
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22833) - you deserved it (1535)

On 11/17/2008 at 11:42pm - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

#301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49429) - you deserved it (4233)

On 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm - kids - by mimo - Sent from mobile version

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

#288
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (8730)

On 11/12/2008 at 9:39am - intimacy - by AirOne - United States (New York)

Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML

#265
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10436) - you deserved it (62753)

On 11/10/2008 at 4:11am - work - by tadam - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: