About danielle25 : have a question?
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by the way.. love sucks.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Tweet, tweet
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28318) - you deserved it (4127)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26497) - you deserved it (1821)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15747) - you deserved it (1417)
On 10/01/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by IcantDance! - United States (Alabama)
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20230) - you deserved it (2407)
On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15421) - you deserved it (1654)
On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17054) - you deserved it (2868)
On 09/25/2012 at 7:54am - kids - by HenryRollinsForPresident (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12816) - you deserved it (3769)
On 09/24/2012 at 3:35pm - work - by martinaaah - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16852) - you deserved it (3891)
On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21645) - you deserved it (4925) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11931) - you deserved it (264)
On 09/20/2012 at 10:58am - kids - by Hmmmm (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (17576)
On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)
Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13181) - you deserved it (1117)
On 09/17/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by Nickie809 - United States (Nevada)
Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (1040)
On 09/17/2012 at 7:25am - health - by Missusluv313 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (1465)
On 09/17/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by twinkletoes (woman) - United States
Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5721) - you deserved it (34329)
On 09/17/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by GN (man) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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