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Offline (the 09/30/2014 at 2:00am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 31532
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.
-Ernest Hemingway

danielle25's page activity

Visits<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 9:16am<b>toastyflame</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 11:06pm<b>vincentjules</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 10:48am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 11:50am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 5:10pm<b>Phustercluck</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:55pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:50am<b>Esoomian</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:37pm<b>krazy789</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 12:41am<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:40am<b>chandler88</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:02am<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:00pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:41am<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 1:51pm<b>cocoapanda</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:55am<b>Agua2</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 6:18pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:10pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:19am

Fucked!<b>toastyflame</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 5:07am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 5:50pm<b>Mons</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:35pm

danielle25's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of danielle25's badges

danielle25's favorite FMLs

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

by lalalalainie / 10/13/2012 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

by afraidtosleep / 10/13/2012 at 2:35am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

by FarmerGirl / 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 8:12am / United States / Love

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

by AFEmoWifey / 10/09/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health