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danielle25

Offline (the 09/30/2014 at 2:00am) | Search for a member

danielle25

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 22230
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.
-Ernest Hemingway

danielle25's page activity

Visits<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:24pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:57pm<b>googlie203</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:39pm<b>kool_girl_123</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:48pm<b>kev916</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:21am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 12:15am<b>Phustercluck</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:51pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:20am<b>darbmutat</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 5:03pm<b>gabix3</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:34pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:35am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:48am<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 9:48pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 4:18pm<b>sydstoomuch</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 4:12am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 1:23pm

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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danielle25's favorite FMLs

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

#20114543
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9704) - you deserved it (30525)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (5651)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34809) - you deserved it (2852)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (1902)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27462) - you deserved it (4725)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16133) - you deserved it (60952)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26479) - you deserved it (3071)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

#20108846
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24774) - you deserved it (1676)

On 10/09/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

#20108741
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13048) - you deserved it (31543)

On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33243) - you deserved it (3455)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

#20107826
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7831) - you deserved it (34484)

On 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30635) - you deserved it (6428)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34683) - you deserved it (4740)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33165) - you deserved it (2540)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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