About danielle25 : have a question?
Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.
About danielle25 : have a question?
danielle25's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
danielle25's favorite FMLs
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids
Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML
by katier8295 / 10/27/2012 at 8:43am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
by Andrew / 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United States / Intimacy
by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
by sausagefingers / 10/22/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Nickki / 10/14/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Kids
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by fucking fratricidal / 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by pinkfreak94 / 10/13/2012 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by notthebesttime / 10/13/2012 at 8:04am / Intimacy
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 7:37am / United States / Kids
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…