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danielle25

Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 4:08am) | Search for a member

danielle25

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 21867
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About danielle25 : have a question?
then ask.

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.
-Ernest Hemingway

danielle25's page activity

Visits<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:24pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:57pm<b>googlie203</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:39pm<b>kool_girl_123</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:48pm<b>kev916</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:21am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 12:15am<b>Phustercluck</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:51pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:20am<b>darbmutat</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 5:03pm<b>gabix3</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:34pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:35am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:48am<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 9:48pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 4:18pm<b>sydstoomuch</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 4:12am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 1:23pm

danielle25's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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danielle25's favorite FMLs

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

#20838688
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35619) - you deserved it (11855)

On 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by kaynotentirelywrong (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51284) - you deserved it (11678)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44676) - you deserved it (8833)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you deserved it (4868)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33719) - you deserved it (28709)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48704) - you deserved it (4603)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

#20731128
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40777) - you deserved it (5140)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:46am - misc - by newyorkers - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48863) - you deserved it (10181)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35946) - you deserved it (5024)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58318) - you deserved it (9155)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42998) - you deserved it (6986)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50044) - you deserved it (7073)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67158) - you deserved it (9912)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53100) - you deserved it (4119)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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