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danielbari

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danielbari

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  • Number of visits : 209
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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danielbari's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

#19927975
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34125) - you deserved it (3070)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by failure - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to purchase a new flat screen TV for the bar I work at. Last night I was dared to break an ashtray against the wall. I completely missed the wall and smashed the screen of the new TV they bought last month. FML

#13843946
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5101) - you deserved it (41291)

On 11/14/2010 at 7:23pm - money - by ellebelle (woman) - United States

Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML

#6887897
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (3572)

On 12/22/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by blumaster04 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat for the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

#6658784
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31999) - you deserved it (1977)

On 12/08/2009 at 12:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (429251) - you deserved it (59834)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the shower and had just finished washing my face. When I put the soap down I noticed a curly, black hair stuck to it. Im blond. The only other person who uses that bathroom is my uncle. I just rubbed my uncle's pubic hair all over my face. FML

#1323775
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50013) - you deserved it (8426)

On 04/25/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
688 comments

I agree, your life sucks (709074) - you deserved it (56134)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (286936) - you deserved it (19153)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (414998) - you deserved it (67217)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (346144) - you deserved it (32373)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (663710) - you deserved it (445436)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (663710) - you deserved it (445436)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML

#228564
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13956) - you deserved it (35925)

On 03/06/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by 1 Giant Cupcake (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (481723) - you deserved it (45997)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)



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