Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

daniel_dd31

Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 5:54pm) | Search for a member

daniel_dd31

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1693
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

daniel_dd31's page activity

Visits<b>zxyttrq009</b> - 9 hours ago<b>blackfox123</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:05pm<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:09am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:31pm<b>The_Illegal_Juan</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 11:43am<b>Goodliife</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:44am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 7:00am<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 1:26pm<b>Austino_yo</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:13am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 3:09am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 2:46am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 2:13pm<b>Morqan_Freeman</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:25pm<b>JustBeingAwesome</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:54pm<b>coollater</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 8:51pm<b>lhkite</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 6:49pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 6:44pm<b>areakiller526</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:08am

Liked!<b>blackfox123</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:05am

daniel_dd31's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of daniel_dd31's badges

daniel_dd31's favorite FMLs

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45700) - you deserved it (8362)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46028) - you deserved it (2984)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

#20680205
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35744) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

#20661009
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42188) - you deserved it (3013)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

#20621115
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (4971)

On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51297) - you deserved it (20976)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39689) - you deserved it (8673)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44793) - you deserved it (4455)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69008) - you deserved it (12170)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

#20577745
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42736) - you deserved it (3956)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48309) - you deserved it (14410)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49215) - you deserved it (6104)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

#20526945
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (2372)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML

#20524030
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33065) - you deserved it (4649)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53708) - you deserved it (3911)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: