Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dammn

Search for a member

dammn

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 98256
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dammn's page activity

Visits<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:18pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:20pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:06pm<b>MrPigg</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:30am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:43pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:16pm<b>CanadianWarMoose</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:33am<b>Alexx2010</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:07pm<b>happndinmonterey</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:25pm<b>twoply</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:43pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Gillett</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:50pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:52pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:36am<b>Brittin8or</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:29am<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:23pm<b>gavingill3535</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:36pm

Fucked!<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:52am

dammn's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dammn's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68784) - you deserved it (3985)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

#2078869
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17408) - you deserved it (66010)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later came into the T-Mobile that I work at to return the Sidekick that I bought for her. I had to transfer her account to a new Iphone. She got the Iphone from her new boyfriend, who works across the street from me. FML

#2073712
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64174) - you deserved it (4515)

On 05/19/2009 at 4:09am - love - by SKuser (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71579) - you deserved it (3169)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94110) - you deserved it (22471)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58021) - you deserved it (21684)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went shopping with my sister. Looking for something to say, I told her how one of my friends had been burgled. Then I realised it was Bree on Desperate Housewives. FML

#2010345
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15791) - you deserved it (56097)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then asked, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML

#1997248
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45466) - you deserved it (7649)

On 05/16/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while biking I got into a major crash with two cars. The cars were parked. FML

#1982205
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11793) - you deserved it (53280)

On 05/16/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Pokerking98 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55196) - you deserved it (11533)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

#1969989
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39903) - you deserved it (16808)

On 05/15/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (66637)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62356) - you deserved it (5824)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

#1902044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50818) - you deserved it (3337)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: