Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dammn

Search for a member

dammn
  • Town/Country : mississauga , canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 95874
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dammn's last visitors

6dandaman5ThatOneGuy719WaistDownUnderJellybellybeanzFaddyy6Jake43fmlAndicc_Minato

dammn's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dammn's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60803) - you deserved it (3349)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

#2078869
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14406) - you deserved it (52346)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later came into the T-Mobile that I work at to return the Sidekick that I bought for her. I had to transfer her account to a new Iphone. She got the Iphone from her new boyfriend, who works across the street from me. FML

#2073712
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59415) - you deserved it (4086)

On 05/19/2009 at 4:09am - love - by SKuser (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69081) - you deserved it (2992)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85945) - you deserved it (19851)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50486) - you deserved it (17275)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went shopping with my sister. Looking for something to say, I told her how one of my friends had been burgled. Then I realised it was Bree on Desperate Housewives. FML

#2010345
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15001) - you deserved it (54381)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then asked, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML

#1997248
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41797) - you deserved it (7150)

On 05/16/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while biking I got into a major crash with two cars. The cars were parked. FML

#1982205
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9141) - you deserved it (39741)

On 05/16/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Pokerking98 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50994) - you deserved it (10429)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

#1969989
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (15312)

On 05/15/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (62911)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57332) - you deserved it (5313)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

#1902044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47340) - you deserved it (3061)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: