Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dammn

Search for a member

dammn

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 98219
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dammn's page activity

Visits<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:18pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:20pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:06pm<b>MrPigg</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:30am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:43pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:16pm<b>CanadianWarMoose</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:33am<b>Alexx2010</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:07pm<b>happndinmonterey</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:25pm<b>twoply</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:43pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:37pm<b>Gillett</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:50pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:52pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:36am<b>Brittin8or</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:29am<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:23pm<b>gavingill3535</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:36pm

Fucked!<b>mikelwhalen</b> - yesterday at 8:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:52am

dammn's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dammn's favorite FMLs

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

#2271321
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80885) - you deserved it (5019)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

#2252019
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11378) - you deserved it (53424)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51358) - you deserved it (18313)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

#2232704
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56368) - you deserved it (43807)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

#2228533
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98223) - you deserved it (23512)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by noboyfriend (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML

#2220782
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44719) - you deserved it (13823)

On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was putting on cream and my son asked what it was for. I told him it was to keep the wrinkles away. He looked at me closely and replied, "I don't think it's working." FML

#2201363
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42857) - you deserved it (5909)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:04am - kids - by julieb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
539 comments

I agree, your life sucks (219269) - you deserved it (23823)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML

#2187594
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67167) - you deserved it (24561)

On 05/22/2009 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML

#2183304
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42976) - you deserved it (5600)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by tootles (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83780) - you deserved it (10255)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

#2158640
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60001) - you deserved it (3818)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

#2134167
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17215) - you deserved it (60553)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65264) - you deserved it (3647)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my husband was leaving on a long business trip to Germany. As he's leaving, my daughter starts crying. 'Dont leave me with her !' she says. 'Take me with you !' FML

#2104254
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (8220)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: