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dammn

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dammn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 97020
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dammn's page activity

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dammn's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dammn's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94693) - you deserved it (19987)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32557) - you deserved it (299927)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

#2769644
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73531) - you deserved it (6683)

On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

#2768683
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62734) - you deserved it (5517)

On 06/10/2009 at 10:49am - kids - by Lisaa918 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

#2763272
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11213) - you deserved it (55620)

On 06/10/2009 at 12:36am - animals - by FMLTIMESTWO (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

#2761787
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46633) - you deserved it (2732)

On 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by vishurricanes (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was finally going to Best Buy to get The Sims 3. I was so excited to get it that I ran to the back of the store to get it, and tripped over a little boy in the process, which made me stumble into a CD rack and knock it over. Which made the rest of the CD racks fall over like dominoes. FML

#2759845
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15146) - you deserved it (53214)

On 06/09/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by Sims3luver (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

#2754553
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81087) - you deserved it (6114)

On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML

#2724554
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16345) - you deserved it (45691)

On 06/08/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65234) - you deserved it (6638)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML

#2652874
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50315) - you deserved it (20768)

On 06/06/2009 at 2:48am - health - by XLhottie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100638) - you deserved it (6380)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

#2592984
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10896) - you deserved it (168482)

On 06/04/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Unluggee (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)



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