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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 September 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 100716
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dammn's page activity

Visits<b>ivanfrombg</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 3:39pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 9:18am<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 12:00pm<b>Pepsiisbae</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 3:24am<b>tofimixy</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 7:13pm<b>fuckme_328385</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 10:45am<b>Popeye2341</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 5:04am<b>greamreaper</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 5:30pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:22am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 5:49pm<b>trevieh47</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 9:11pm<b>RockFord112</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 10:25pm<b>shotgunrem</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:51pm<b>masschris</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:30am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:23am<b>jawarston</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 2:24pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:39am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:58am

Fucked!<b>OspreyEagle</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 6:57am<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:12pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Kira_the_killer</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:35am<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:52am

dammn's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dammn's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

by superman_not / 06/10/2009 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Miscellaneous

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

by Lisaa918 / 06/10/2009 at 10:49am / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2009 at 9:12am / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

by FMLTIMESTWO / 06/10/2009 at 12:36am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

by vishurricanes / 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

by SURPRISE / 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML

by XLhottie / 06/06/2009 at 2:48am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

by Kimmiko / 06/04/2009 at 8:17am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Transportation

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

by Unluggee / 06/04/2009 at 6:38am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals