dammn

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dammn

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 99768
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dammn's page activity

Visits<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:22am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 5:49pm<b>trevieh47</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 9:11pm<b>RockFord112</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 10:25pm<b>shotgunrem</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:51pm<b>masschris</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:30am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:23am<b>jawarston</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 2:24pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:39am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:58am<b>zainman13</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 2:39am<b>Pinto_2015</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:15am<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 2:00am<b>Burkho1der</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:43pm<b>dakota133</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Starfall101</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:51pm<b>MyWierdCat</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 4:03pm<b>pasupathymuthu</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 3:05pm

Fucked!<b>OspreyEagle</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 6:57am<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:12pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Kira_the_killer</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:35am<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:52am

dammn's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dammn's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

by robinhoood / 07/12/2009 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2009 at 3:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 07/10/2009 at 1:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 3:35am / Intimacy

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

by spitballer1 / 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2009 at 12:57am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

by Singed / 07/04/2009 at 1:31pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2009 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

by Cococautly / 07/04/2009 at 12:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

by noyodel / 07/04/2009 at 12:04am / Italy / Transportation

Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML

by daRN / 07/02/2009 at 3:34pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

by A2 / 06/28/2009 at 2:12am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my husband passed a massive kidney stone. He is so proud of it that he wants to decorate our home with it. It is now sitting on my kitchen counter next to my produce. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2009 at 10:52am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.