dammn

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dammn

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 99940
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dammn's page activity

Visits<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:22am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 5:49pm<b>trevieh47</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 9:11pm<b>RockFord112</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 10:25pm<b>shotgunrem</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:51pm<b>masschris</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:30am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:23am<b>jawarston</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 2:24pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:39am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:58am<b>zainman13</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 2:39am<b>Pinto_2015</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:15am<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 2:00am<b>Burkho1der</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:43pm<b>dakota133</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Starfall101</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:51pm<b>MyWierdCat</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 4:03pm<b>pasupathymuthu</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 3:05pm

Fucked!<b>OspreyEagle</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 6:57am<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:12pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Kira_the_killer</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:35am<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:52am

dammn's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dammn's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2009 at 11:18am / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I went to buy lunch at a grocery store. The total was 3 pounds, and my card got rejected for insufficient funds. I fished about for change, and found I only had 2 pounds. A homeless man behind me in the queue then offered to give me the remaining pound. A homeless man paid my lunch. FML

by faentalivetmitt / 07/29/2009 at 10:24am / Norway (Oslo) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

by Nikse / 07/29/2009 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2009 at 6:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

by Ella / 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The first words my friends say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? "Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying." FML

by emogurl / 07/22/2009 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

by NotSoClean / 07/21/2009 at 2:53pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, I learned when you're babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush and then the words "uh oh", it's already too late. FML

by Pooperscooper / 07/20/2009 at 2:45pm / Kids

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

by good_job_john / 07/20/2009 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

by tukker / 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2009 at 9:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

by embarrassed / 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous