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dammn

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dammn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 97004
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dammn's page activity

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dammn's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

#1551610
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92648) - you deserved it (9069)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

#1547778
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (158135) - you deserved it (23982)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parked on the side of the road to assist her. I called an ambulance and stayed with her until they came to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returned to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. FML

#1537905
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101918) - you deserved it (5610)

On 05/01/2009 at 8:46pm - misc - by Flipside (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

#1520851
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54196) - you deserved it (18802)

On 05/01/2009 at 10:28am - intimacy - by badluckdrew (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML

#1520642
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78835) - you deserved it (8481)

On 05/01/2009 at 10:17am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

#1513327
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20265) - you deserved it (49767)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by kam3221 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

#1512569
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50666) - you deserved it (12503)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML

#1512268
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63531) - you deserved it (19654)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by goner - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML

#1509670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60515) - you deserved it (11174)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:50pm - kids - by mylove (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

#1493509
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14017) - you deserved it (92318)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

#1475433
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68157) - you deserved it (9005)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by ohmyx3 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

#1466459
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18577) - you deserved it (89364)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

#1453860
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (149023) - you deserved it (11857)

On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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