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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dammn

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dammn
  • Town/Country : mississauga , canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 September 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 93766
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dammn's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML

#6122066 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (4696) - you deserved it (17233)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by konichiwa (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML

#5848381 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:44am - animals - by Halloweenie (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (11859)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (3375)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (27757) - you deserved it (3628)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (29422) - you deserved it (11007)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

#4928502 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (46087) - you deserved it (5477)

On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML

#4911322 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (36597)

On 08/29/2009 at 6:20pm - love - by zuper_duper (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

#4896361 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (6822)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:27am - love - by notenough (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my little sister recieved a fairy costume from my aunt. She put it on and waves her wand at me. She said,"Abra cadabra bibbity poo. I wish Sydney was pretty." When I did nothing, she put her hands on her hips and says,"Cant you just act pretty?" FML

#4839139 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (3654)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:31pm - kids - by yummolives (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML

#4832941 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (9561) - you deserved it (73058)

On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by alieyoubelieve (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML

#4801141 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (41034) - you deserved it (1808)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I corrected my mom in front of our family while she was ragging on my 12 year old cousin who got a piercing. She said, "You don't understand you don't have kids, but on the other hand you probably never will!" I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, she is right, I probably never will. FML

#4783460 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (45374) - you deserved it (1966)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:43pm - health - by fannyfitel123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

#4782445 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (29813) - you deserved it (3565)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

#4774624 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (36421) - you deserved it (3534)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)