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damian777

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damian777
  • Town/Country : Robstown,TX, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4953
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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damian777's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29812) - you deserved it (17341)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

#16019768
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13260) - you deserved it (58267)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

#15999869
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (2943)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:02am - misc - by rb - United States

Today, my doctor told me my asthma was being triggered by my dad's smoking. He wrote a note to my dad, asking him to refrain from smoking while around me. My dad took one look at the note, then threw it in the trash, saying the doctor "doesn't know what he's talking about." FML

#15977216
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34574) - you deserved it (2032)

On 04/29/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by Wtf (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

#15976359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28619) - you deserved it (4035)

On 04/29/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Jims (man) - Singapore

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43034) - you deserved it (4651)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

#15961473
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35214) - you deserved it (8631)

On 04/28/2011 at 9:16am - love - by nuttedthefout -

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

#15960842
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27411) - you deserved it (39622)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (3418)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

#15959633
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34258) - you deserved it (11701)

On 04/28/2011 at 2:22am - love - by ummno (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

#15958012
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17139) - you deserved it (24241)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:04am - work - by tryandtryagain (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while hiking, my dad decided we should take the beeline trail down the mountain to save time. We got to the bottom of the mountain when we discovered it was the wrong side of the mountain. We had to hike 13 extra miles around it to get back to our car. FML

#15956367
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21621) - you deserved it (4349)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:43pm - misc - by lostinthewoods (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

#15956322
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (5942)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by suckishbf (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

#15949821
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (4666)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

#15949652
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43478) - you deserved it (3234)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by disfunctionalfamily (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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