Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dalzuga

Search for a member

dalzuga

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3810
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dalzuga's page activity

Visits<b>GtaTomV</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 11:04am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 10:21am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 9:21am<b>shiellatequila</b> - the 03/08/2009 at 7:33pm

dalzuga's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dalzuga's favorite FMLs

Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML

#45177
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32436) - you deserved it (4424)

On 02/15/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Salaryman (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

#43148
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14680) - you deserved it (32953)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Biggest Jerk (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82782) - you deserved it (10950)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10309) - you deserved it (120918)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

#18252
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13238) - you deserved it (147325)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Dulieu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46021) - you deserved it (13865)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59035) - you deserved it (2676)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: