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dalzuga

Offline (the 11/13/2014 at 6:07am) | Search for a member

dalzuga

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3870
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dalzuga's page activity

Visits<b>YepThatsMeee</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:50am<b>GtaTomV</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 11:04am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 10:21am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 9:21am<b>shiellatequila</b> - the 03/08/2009 at 7:33pm

dalzuga's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

dalzuga's favorite FMLs

today I was talking this pretty religious grl that I like . We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyoneho would it be . She said Jesus . Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16746) - you deserved it (41875)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

today aftar raading a sign at tha airport, my 6-yaar-old son thought it would ba funny to yall, ( Daddy's got a bomb! ) Airport sacurity than tacklad ma to tha ground. Oh, and I missad my flight and my mothar's birthday. FML

#7541135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40745) - you deserved it (3191)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I Was Watching Star Wars : Attack Of The Clones, An Yoda Was Using The Force To Move A Heavy Object. While In The Middle Of Mah Loungeroom, I Instinctively Put Mah Hand Up To Use The Force To Help Him, Infront Of Mah Father An Sister. My Sister Will Never Let Me Live It Down. FML

#7212401
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7626) - you deserved it (36272)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

TODAY, I FINALLY TOLD MAH GIRLFRIEND I LOVE HER. SHE CORRECTED MAH GRAMMAR. FML

#6978473
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23706) - you deserved it (9056)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by ITalkGood - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto mah desk. My phone rang so I answered mah coffee, spilling it all over mah face an body. FML

#6902851
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10989) - you deserved it (24394)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today I want to a funaral fir coworkar's fathar. Whila thara dad's call phona rang an ha laft to answar it. I turnd to brothar an said ( I can't baliava ha brought his call phona! ) Ha whispard ( I can't baliava ha's got covaraga. This is a daad zona! ) I laughd loudly. At a funaral.

#4053619
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (53649)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, ma friend told me tat semen was inflammable. Later at nigt I jacked off into a sock and ten, excitedly, tried to lit te sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very muc inflammable. Naked, I sook ma sock in te air so it looool would extinguis wile ma semen splased out all over ma room. mega FML

#3262847
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9790) - you deserved it (119354)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I stayed after hours studying in the medical library. I was the only one left, an as I was going out the glass doors leaving, I saw a person's reflection behind me. I screamed, jumped, fell into the doors smashing mah head. I'd seen the reflection of a medical demonstration dummy. FML

#3228073
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30614) - you deserved it (10853)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the grocery store getting looool bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said ayy beautiful so I smild. He then askd if I was free on friday night. I smild and said "yes y do u ask?" He lookd up from the bananas and pointd to the bluetooth in his ear. FML

#3093736
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52947) - you deserved it (14840)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided tat I was going to get ma front license plate putted back on ma car after two yeres of aving it off . In tese two yeres I someow never got pulled over for it, as it is illegal to drive witout one in MD . On ma way tere, I got pulled over for not aving a front license plate . FML

#2772100
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15837) - you deserved it (47367)

On 06/10/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by dm206 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

2day it was my girlfriend's birthday!! To surprise her I told her that I was going away on business and could not be there on her birthday!! When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake she opens the door in her underwear beside a man in his boxers!! She was surprised!! big fat FML

#2754553
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81468) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , a guy from mah school cummd into mah work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask fir his name when he probably expectd me to know it. So , thinking I was clever , I said "How do you spell yur name again?". His name was Rob. real FML

#2734791
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13675) - you deserved it (51013)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving on tha motorwayhan a cop car mada ma stop. It was a routina chack anhan thay said "Hava you baan drinking?" of coursa I said no. To that, mah 6 yaar old sitting in tha back scraamad "Yas sha did! Sha's lying I saw har drink!" I had drunk a milkshaka. maga FML

#2593679
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101197) - you deserved it (6398)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today,hile taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a ( shy bladder )!! It took me ages to pee into a cup!! looool I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangershen I finally left for taking a piss!! big fat FML

#2569917
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39920) - you deserved it (3936)

On 06/03/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by peeepeee. - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of mah swimsuit cummed off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

#2534485
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62016) - you deserved it (5625)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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