Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dalink

Offline (yesterday at 10:21pm) | Search for a member

dalink

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3576
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About dalink : PGY2... God help my patients.... And my interns.

Reading this on the wards... When I'm supposed to be involved in patient care.

Perpetually waiting for that next paycheck.

dalink's page activity

Visits<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:27pm<b>KennyBound</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:58pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:48am<b>IAmZim</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:52pm<b>pianotie</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:04pm<b>Miku01</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:13am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:30am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:34pm<b>EdenCrystal</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:35am<b>ericcrash</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:57am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 7:09pm<b>peterson1515</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:45pm<b>LeeB</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 11:18am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 12:26am<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 7:29pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 1:34am<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 9:04pm

dalink's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of dalink's badges

dalink's favorite FMLs

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45775) - you deserved it (8923)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33700) - you deserved it (12419)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43975) - you deserved it (6842)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43131) - you deserved it (7005)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40300) - you deserved it (4491)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49453) - you deserved it (11720)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40044) - you deserved it (6565)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40736) - you deserved it (3480)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51955) - you deserved it (4723)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49878) - you deserved it (6139)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44596) - you deserved it (6534)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50958) - you deserved it (5902)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48079) - you deserved it (8256)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML

#21176835
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45468) - you deserved it (8967)

On 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm - misc - by FMeeee (woman) - Portugal (Aveiro)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: