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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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daisyree

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daisyree
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 October 1988 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 6585
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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daisyree's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

#1869680 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (4647) - you deserved it (56344)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

#1625172 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (40841) - you deserved it (8791)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

#1602310 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (52209) - you deserved it (5061)

On 05/03/2009 at 6:16pm - health - by Cherub (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

#1586580 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (9856) - you deserved it (40973)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend was going to propose. Since he was really nervous, he decided to have a couple of drinks to loosen up. He ended up throwing up and passing out before he could get down on one knee. FML

#1358275 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (43580) - you deserved it (3155)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043 (394)

I agree, your life sucks (61406) - you deserved it (6303)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as a respected artist I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML

#1284029 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (34942) - you deserved it (10775)

On 04/24/2009 at 5:04am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

#1250407 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (44678) - you deserved it (7553)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

#1135948 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (91784) - you deserved it (8816)

On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut M&M's at work when I exclaimed "oh cool they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes but I did eventually realize that I was looking at a regular M&M sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (53386)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML

#859604 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (54963) - you deserved it (134463)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

#796639 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (77019) - you deserved it (5152)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard a conversation two of my friends were having about Homer, so I interjected with a quip about a Simpson's episode I had seen before. They were talking about the poet. I'm an AP literature student. FML

#718521 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (9215) - you deserved it (50459)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by apenglishstudent (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

#690128 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (57308)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Bucko321 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

#584648 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (37130) - you deserved it (18695)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by casey (woman) - United States (Virginia)