About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)
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Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (1907)
On 07/28/2011 at 4:37pm - health - by shroooms (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34172) - you deserved it (1978)
On 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35989) - you deserved it (5808)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2429)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2429)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17618) - you deserved it (31126)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -
Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33390) - you deserved it (4061)
On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9593) - you deserved it (32781)
On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21380) - you deserved it (10609)
On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54849) - you deserved it (7505)
On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)
Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10570) - you deserved it (39693)
On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)
Today, I puked up a centipede. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45035) - you deserved it (5745)
On 05/11/2011 at 12:59am - health - by vaalcrawford - Canada (Ontario)
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10614) - you deserved it (50519)
On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26189) - you deserved it (8900)
On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40617) - you deserved it (4626)
On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 17 June 2013
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