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cyanidesandwich

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cyanidesandwich

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2907
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)

cyanidesandwich's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:44pm<b>mattandkim95</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:13pm<b>CrazyZebra</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:18am<b>theark95</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:54am<b>halloweentree</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:41pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:45pm<b>arrowhead235</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:31pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:17pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:29pm<b>monsterbeats</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:09pm<b>fitts6</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:05am<b>KIABlackWolves</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:02am<b>TheThirdi</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:00pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:29am<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:12pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:29pm<b>john_smth</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:34am<b>adamant84</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:42pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cyanidesandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

#20011862
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6029) - you deserved it (33936)

On 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by sincerely depressed. - United States (California)

Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML

#20004185
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5390) - you deserved it (33895)

On 08/05/2012 at 4:21pm - misc - by icybrent94 (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (5151)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26022) - you deserved it (12373)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (2998)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (1718)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, while looking through pictures of my boyfriend and me on Facebook, I noticed that in practically every single one featuring my best friend, his eyes are directed down her shirt. FML

#19905936
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24976) - you deserved it (3344)

On 07/07/2012 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14482) - you deserved it (34376)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23274) - you deserved it (2842)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22414) - you deserved it (5285)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10989) - you deserved it (87341)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (5017)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32746) - you deserved it (9208)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (2899)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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