About Cyanidesandwich
I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)
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Cyanidesandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

By Señor Guapo - / Wednesday 4 March 2009 17:42 / United States

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 11 July 2015 00:52 / United States - Las Vegas

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 27 June 2015 06:15 / Australia - Doncaster East

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

By Idiot says "HIPAA violation" - / Saturday 27 June 2015 01:21 / United States - Roanoke

Today, my brother tried cremating our deceased cat. In the oven. My nose has killed itself. FML

By thatguy8878 - / Friday 26 June 2015 20:41 / United States - Smethport