About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)
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Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20140) - you deserved it (4542)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (8384)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (2566)
On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (2120)
On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47973) - you deserved it (4816)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29098) - you deserved it (16955)
On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (3397)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25404) - you deserved it (4085)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (2352)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23319) - you deserved it (4135)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (8637)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (3246)
On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36949) - you deserved it (5669)
On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)
I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (3873)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45882) - you deserved it (2383)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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