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cyanidesandwich

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cyanidesandwich

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2889
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)

cyanidesandwich's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - yesterday at 6:44pm<b>mattandkim95</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:13pm<b>CrazyZebra</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:18am<b>theark95</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:54am<b>halloweentree</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:41pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:45pm<b>arrowhead235</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:31pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:17pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:29pm<b>monsterbeats</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:09pm<b>fitts6</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:05am<b>KIABlackWolves</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:02am<b>TheThirdi</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:00pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:29am<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:12pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:29pm<b>john_smth</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:34am<b>adamant84</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:42pm

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cyanidesandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39471) - you deserved it (8096) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40551) - you deserved it (3314)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (7752)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

#21080644
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42211) - you deserved it (4627)

On 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by fuck off, eh! (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52329) - you deserved it (13322)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37853) - you deserved it (14096)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38498) - you deserved it (3932)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (14710)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42086) - you deserved it (7881)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51089) - you deserved it (5305)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57052) - you deserved it (3369)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49496) - you deserved it (8064)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (111655)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (50730)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)



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