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Offline (the 11/21/2015 at 1:03am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4616
  • Number of comments : 237
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)

cyanidesandwich's page activity

Visits<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 11:58am<b>aelabed</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 6:24pm<b>djfiggz58</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 5:19pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:10am<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:27pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 9:38am<b>thesteamygamer</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 7:39pm<b>colinabi</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:58am<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 7:21am<b>pilgrimjennifer</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 7:26am<b>Ladiesman679</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 3:04am<b>domogalcx</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 11:48pm<b>left_4_egg</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:55pm<b>sydniew2001</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:10am<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:08pm<b>oakcrush</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Aubreychendi_</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:11pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:34am<b>iceskata</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Rhinocerus</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:33am

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cyanidesandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (38290) - you deserved it (12771)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38972) - you deserved it (19083)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49309) - you deserved it (15411)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50514) - you deserved it (5117)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62205) - you deserved it (7877)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38290) - you deserved it (8864)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (66217) - you deserved it (6063)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46792) - you deserved it (3282)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39540) - you deserved it (3708)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm - work - by RIP_Nose (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML


Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46484) - you deserved it (6613)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42550) - you deserved it (8601) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43458) - you deserved it (3547)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44470) - you deserved it (8304)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

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