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cyanidesandwich

Offline (the 01/21/2014 at 6:02pm) | Search for a member

cyanidesandwich

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 November 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2761
  • Number of comments : 226
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About cyanidesandwich : I am an awesome guy to be around, i love this site and play some if Kixeye's facebook games in my spare time. I am also proud to say that i have seen both two girls one cup and the BME Pain olympics back to back. ( the first didnt bother me at all, but the second was kind of hard to watch)

cyanidesandwich's page activity

Visits<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:29pm<b>monsterbeats</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:09pm<b>fitts6</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 4:05am<b>KIABlackWolves</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:02am<b>TheThirdi</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:00pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:29am<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:12pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:29pm<b>john_smth</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:34am<b>adamant84</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:42pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:45am<b>ss521</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:27pm<b>BunnyDreams</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:48pm<b>JBChristian</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:38am<b>Kyra1</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:38pm<b>chris1045</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 4:08am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 12:09am<b>klaralynn</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 8:59pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cyanidesandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33636) - you deserved it (16331)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45435) - you deserved it (13953)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46419) - you deserved it (4418)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53531) - you deserved it (6242)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34464) - you deserved it (7888)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60488) - you deserved it (5069)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42136) - you deserved it (2594)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

#21103838
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35661) - you deserved it (3068)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm - work - by RIP_Nose (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

#21102371
94 comments

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40989) - you deserved it (5498)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39205) - you deserved it (8047) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40349) - you deserved it (3291)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39304) - you deserved it (7099)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

#21080644
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40863) - you deserved it (4173)

On 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by fuck off, eh! (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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