cufaoil

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cufaoil

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1780
  • Number of comments : 239
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cufaoil : Irish.
Biker.

With my prose, I try to be funny
On FML it has to be punny
To make up a rhyme
In a short space of time
But sadly, it makes me no money....

cufaoil's page activity

Visits<b>lonelysquid93</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:26am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:15am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:21am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Plastic_Stitchez</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 7:39pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 4:58pm<b>fizzypops123</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 10:50pm<b>PirateGirl12</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 9:09am<b>margie2194</b> - the 12/17/2011 at 1:32am<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 1:01am<b>istishia</b> - the 11/18/2011 at 9:08pm<b>erpaderp</b> - the 10/16/2011 at 8:24pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 8:18pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/16/2011 at 9:13pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>uzee</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 4:32pm<b>sourgirl101</b> - the 08/28/2011 at 3:28am<b>psuedodragon</b> - the 08/26/2011 at 3:50pm

cufaoil's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

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cufaoil's favorite FMLs

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

by kidswithnomanners / 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

by latino / 11/11/2010 at 6:30am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML

by khaelian / 11/10/2010 at 12:22pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

by fungettingdressed / 10/12/2010 at 8:57am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 1:16am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

by JLD / 10/11/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

by crucets / 10/06/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

by seriously / 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy