About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7804) - you deserved it (53662)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States
Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8647) - you deserved it (29223)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18822) - you deserved it (1805)
On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18310) - you deserved it (3973)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:37am - love - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (6556) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (14838)
On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's okay, though; she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (1708)
On 02/09/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by justfriends - United States
Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19205) - you deserved it (11678)
On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16142) - you deserved it (1194)
On 02/09/2012 at 12:37am - misc - by Ihaveaheadache - United States (Texas)
Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17534) - you deserved it (1248)
On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4881) - you deserved it (33533)
On 02/08/2012 at 8:26am - work - by ronz -
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a co-worker. I got her the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17054) - you deserved it (2580)
On 02/08/2012 at 8:08am - love - by D-Man (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (3642)
On 02/08/2012 at 12:17am - love - by daughterofanazi (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18740) - you deserved it (2594)
Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18302) - you deserved it (5094)
On 02/07/2012 at 8:40pm - health - by screwed - United States (Connecticut)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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