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crystalnight

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crystalnight
  • Town/Country : Austin, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3221
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.

crystalnight's last visitors

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I’m your new creative director

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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crystalnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (17834)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML

#19232371
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10636) - you deserved it (40812)

On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34422) - you deserved it (2517)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

#19223873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22940) - you deserved it (2259)

On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

#19223342
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (25728)

On 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm - misc - by asdfBUTT (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (7492)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10511) - you deserved it (24500)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26890) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26147) - you deserved it (5967)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

#19180837
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21080) - you deserved it (5740)

On 02/28/2012 at 6:55am - love - by Susan - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

#19174580
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38698) - you deserved it (2243)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm - love - by unknown - United States

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (5187)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16465) - you deserved it (28440)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26516) - you deserved it (1994)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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