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Offline (the 04/13/2015 at 6:05am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 October 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9342
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.

crystalnight's page activity

Visits<b>Devil_Dog1</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:43pm<b>phamalocity</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 4:18am<b>LonerTheWolf35</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 11:35pm<b>paintbullits</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:40pm<b>redwill85</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:55pm<b>LMxDelta38</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:03pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 11:09am<b>splashface1</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 7:52pm<b>jaaymurph103</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 8:49am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 1:01am<b>Sinful1</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:16pm<b>kmartFTW</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Jared111</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:38pm<b>jb1991</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:30pm<b>neo08061972</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Tyrod</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:26pm<b>colvindj</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 8:08pm

crystalnight's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of crystalnight's badges

crystalnight's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML

by Alison / 03/10/2012 at 5:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

by goldfish / 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

by asdfBUTT / 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

by Buttscratcher / 03/03/2012 at 11:12am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

by Susan / 02/28/2012 at 6:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

by unknown / 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Love

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

by afraidtoburn / 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous