About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8384) - you deserved it (12372)
On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31970) - you deserved it (1769)
On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6378) - you deserved it (15311)
On 03/29/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by greeneyedpothead - United States (California)
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4203) - you deserved it (15293)
Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9040) - you deserved it (6175)
On 03/28/2012 at 7:19am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9133) - you deserved it (22547)
On 03/27/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by MattBC97 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7816) - you deserved it (27231)
On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13400) - you deserved it (4449)
On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8164) - you deserved it (45186)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17947) - you deserved it (1145)
On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)
Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (1613)
On 03/19/2012 at 3:20pm - health - by Shleebs (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6318) - you deserved it (36440)
On 03/19/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26145) - you deserved it (6804)
On 03/17/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by noneedtostress - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (4084)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:16am - misc - by lizzie1833 - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15095) - you deserved it (8039)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Friday 24 May 2013
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