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crystalnight

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crystalnight
  • Town/Country : Austin, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3198
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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crystalnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

#19441830
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (2817)

On 04/10/2012 at 7:13am - animals - by tay (man) - Australia

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gun point, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

#19440828
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12990) - you deserved it (9980)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:35am - health - by logkitty - United States (California)

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15546) - you deserved it (1738)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, I actually used Febreze as a substitute for deodorant. FML

#19416021
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6913) - you deserved it (21360)

On 04/06/2012 at 3:24am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17209) - you deserved it (2538)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, my dream finally came true, I slept with the woman I love. Sadly, after that I got friend-zoned, because she's in love with my brother, and she wanted my help to get to him. FML

#19406432
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (2558)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:41pm - love - by Sociallyawkwardpenguin (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (34310)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

#19404446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4847) - you deserved it (16604)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

#19401228
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20783) - you deserved it (3879)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML

#19399944
187 comments

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15712) - you deserved it (28876)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16907) - you deserved it (2140)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML

#19380056
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32880) - you deserved it (2098)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

#19372815
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9961) - you deserved it (17996)

On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35332) - you deserved it (2202)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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